Good Morning, SuperForesters!
Wow! This feels so good. The oh-so-familiar and comforting frame, within which I write my thoughts and share things with you guys, the blinking cursor, tempting me to write more. You see, it’s been about a month since my last post, and within that time frame I: went to Vegas and back with the family, prepared presentations for my internship, graded essays on Sprawl, wrote two term papers, celebrated Iman’s birthday, oh yeah…and I became a UCSD Alum (!!!) Needless to say, it’s been a very busy several weeks and as I was preparing myself for what I expected would be this huge face-off with this transitory part of my life, I began to fill up my days with detailed schedules, task lists, and lots and lots of tea. I became a productivity machine and had this whole system down.
Now, I could easily say that this was my reason for my lack of presence in the blogosphere but that wouldn’t be telling the whole story. You see, on a deeper level, I was doing something that for me, was a lot more difficult.
I was waiting.
I know. Super anti-climactic, right? I mean, I used to think waiting didn’t require much effort. In fact, I thought it was pretty lazy. But this is where I was wrong, and I learned this lesson a few days ago when due to some car troubles, I had to be dropped off on campus by my Mom. Yes, it was elementary school all over again, especially because she didn’t have her cell phone on her (gasp!). So we did it the old-school way, arranged a time and a place for her to pick me up and bid our farewells. I attended my meeting, gave my presentations, and made my way toward the designated meeting spot. I looked at my phone to check the time, looked around me, and I decided to do the unthinkable, just sit and wait.
Noticing how everyone around me was “doing” something – listening to their iPods, texting, walking and talking to their friends, driving by, I decided I would try a little experiment and try to experience everything there was to experience. Now, I know this sounds a little silly, but I doubt very many of you know how difficult it is for us 21st century “distracted” brats. But it was. (Seriously! You guys should try it at a busy cross street, you’ll see what I mean…) Like a nervous twitch, I was tempted to pull out my phone and check my email whenever anybody would pass by and try to look busy. I felt self-conscious when people would look over in confusion as to whether or not I was lost. But that all passed, and it soon got to be very enjoyable. There was a sort of simple enlightenment that came about removing myself from the every day flows of life and watching systems go buzzing by without the need of my support or inclusion. And in a really strange but beautiful sort of way, it’s rather liberating.
I’d like to think this sort of idea was then implemented with my relationship to this site. Like with the every day happenings of my life, my “SuperForest System” was equally calculated and orderly. And I’d gotten, for lack of a better word, “attached” to the way I liked to run things. Now, it doesn’t take an expert to tell you “attachments” aren’t the healthiest thing in the world and once I noticed this, I felt the need to step away for a while and just wait, hoping that removing myself from the equation, especially at this point in my life, would help me concentrate on myself and help me observe my strengths and weaknesses and the ways in which I could best contribute to the site, and consequently, the planet.
So here I am SuperForest. After what feels like a very busy and introspective vacation, I’m back. And while I certainly don’t say that in any sort of presumptuous way, implying that I expected you to notice my absence, I say it, simply because it feels good, it feels right, and because I learned I kind of missed you. A lot.
Here’s to “vacations” to nowhere that get us places, here’s to sitting put and waiting, and here’s to figuring out what comes next together.
With love,
SuperForester Carla
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