Annyeong (that’s Korean for peace — as well as hi and bye)! It’s my pleasure to introduce to you the writings and photos of my esteemed friend and colleague, Kari Dalane, a young woman who has tremendous vision and understanding, not to mention a superb blog on American education. Since the day that she wandered into my school as my fresh-faced-yet-battle-hardened co-teacher, I have been begging her to share her mind with our little garden. Finally, she has acquiesced:
I have tried to live my life in pursuit of goodness. I feel the weight of my own good fortune every day and it presses me to help create a world where more people are able to enjoy similar luck.
This pursuit has led me down some ill-fated roads, such as Teach for America, and has instilled in me some negative, self-destructive feelings. Guilt, for enjoying privileges I have not earned while others suffer; Helplessness, for feeling unable to create the positive changes I’d like to see in the world; Shame, for my helplessness; Fear, for looking failure in the face with unblinking eyes and seeing my own reflection.
I mentioned Teach for America because it truly drove home the weight and price of my idealism. I joined a corps of individuals hoping to have real impacts on the poorest and unluckiest American children with stars in my eyes and my head somewhere in the clouds. A friend and fellow corps member once told me that all TFA recruits are three things: idealistic, naive and pompous. I thought the world could be changed to be a better place and I naively believed I would be able to help make this happen as an inner-city teacher with almost no training. I quickly came crashing down to earth.
I’ve since left Teach for American and have somehow found myself as a teacher in South Korea. I don’t know why I decided to come here. I do know that, after much thought, I realized education is my passion. I believe in it. And I want to, need to, stay involved in it. Teaching abroad for a year seemed like a good way to stay involved while figuring out what to do next. I’m so happy I made the choice to come here because it has turned out to be exactly what I needed. Good friends, a feeling of success in my job, reassurance that the world can be a wonderful place and that people can, and do, work to make it better all the time. In little ways and big ways. I can still be one of those people; in some ways, I already am.
I started reading SuperForest when I met Drake and have found it to be a place that echoes resoundingly with goodness. It’s wonderful to be surrounded by and read about people who, sometimes unintentionally, pursue goodness every day. A smile or kind word, forgiving a friend, not giving up on a dream. It all adds up. And I’ve learned that my mother was right — patience really is a virtue. I should not feel guilty for failing to have a big positive impact on the world. I have time. We have time. We have lifetimes. We are not helpless and should not be ashamed or afraid.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? … Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do… And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson
Your playing small does not serve the world. And each of us has much to offer the world. Only in discovering the truth in this, and allowing it to happen, can we truly live. This does not mean “putting pressure on reality.” It’s in acknowledging and allowing your most true self to shine through that you do yourself justice and give back to the world, tenfold, what you have been given.
Children have not yet built barriers against the world and shine brilliantly, unself-consciously, every day. We must be like children. Young children are not crippled by their failures. A toddler trying to walk across the room fails every time until she makes it. We all fail, every day, many times. It is taking these failures in stride, and with humility, that allows us to grow and discover more about what doesn’t work for us. We mustn’t focus on what doesn’t work, but instead on coming one step closer to what does.
So who are you not to be brilliant, talented, gorgeous, fabulous? You must break down the barriers you have built against yourself — guilt, or helplessness, or shame, or fear- to live the kind of life you deserve.
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