This made my throat tighten with love for our planet, our species, these times, all time. Cheers to David Fu for the inspiration!
Have an amazing day on this amazing planet, oh amazing SuperForesters!
Monthly Archive for April, 2011
Dearest SuperForest,
I write this with zero expectation of what is going to come of it, well except the expectation of not having any expectations. And so we cycle through this paradox. Not just here with me having no expectation, but in all life.
Recently I have been studying the deep questions of philosophy: How should society be organised? Is there free will? Is it all determined? Does punishing people for their actions make sense? Does our sense of moral responsibility make sense? My conclusion…all of it. Every answer seems to be the right one. Each question can be answered in a different way, and defended with a sound argument as well. Hume, Pereboom, and Smilansky all answer the question of free will and moral responsibility differently, but each argues fairly successfully that their answer is the right one. Perhaps it is in this that we are going wrong (at least in the search of philosophical “truth”). Do I act because I choose to ask in a such a way? Or do I act because of previous actions that led to me only acting how I acted. Do I choose to fall in love? Or did I simply fall in love? With these last two questions I find myself answering with, “Both of course!” Millions of actions preceded my falling in love with any person, but I also chose to commit my love to that person. Or was that choice to commit simply the only action I had because of those millions of actions preceding my falling in love? See my frustration here, SuperForest?
I find myself constantly being troubled my these questions and other ones that are similar. Do these question even matter? I am alive, and I will probably never figure out why I am alive. So why pursue trying to answer an unanswerable question? Isn’t it human nature to ask why? This truly is our greatest gift and curse, just as our lovely Humanifesto states. Human consciousness, our very awareness of being alive, tortures us and inspires us to be great. Our pursuit of answers to why this and why that is what has led us to discovering how to go into space. It is what has inspired men like Martin Luther Kind and Gandhi to fight for their people. We each share this deep problem of knowing that we are alive and conscious, but not knowing why. We search for some purpose and reason.
In our frantic and confused state we turn to God or gods. Most of my life has been committed understanding that the existence of a God or gods is irrelevant. It is the answer to an unanswerable question, and therefore is no answer. We are here, and God(s) is/are not. But then I find myself pause, because a large part of me believes in something greater present within me. In fact I know there is something greater. For the longest time I have called this love. It is the mysterious force that binds us and let’s us know that we are not alone. This force, this love, is not something that can be reasoned. It is unreasonable and impractical. Much like God or gods. I have slowly come to the conclusion that what me term a “god” is simply the life force that binds each of us. As I said it is the answer to our unanswerable question of why we are here.
At the very least though, we can know that we are here. And if we are here then isn’t there a reason? And so the loop continues on and on. Paradox. I have always loved the concept of infinity. I even got a tattoo to show my fascination/obsession of it. Infinity, the very concept of infinity, is unreasonable. It is impossible for the human mind to understand or grasp infinity. We simply cannot understand it. Three years ago I wrote this little commentary on infinity that I love very much:
Sanity is being able to believe you have a firm grasp on reality. It is the ability to fake your brain out into thinking life and the world is limited. The moment life becomes unlimited, infinite, the concept of life and society vanishes, along with sanity. Try to force your brain to go into the limitlessness of space, push it to forever. Within seconds your brain will start to pound, and you may even feel fear. Try to make yourself see forever. Toy with this notion enough and insanity will fall upon you. Society has created a limit, a wall, and with that mankind has created sanity and insanity.
So, sanity is our struggle to create definites inside the indefinite landscape. Take a second and think about our world and our species. What is our achievement as a species? It is not going into space or discovering cures for diseases. My answer for our greatest achievement is our ability to define. We are experts at limiting our reality. We create boxes around everything we do. Every concept and word we create has a definition. We have dictionaries filled with words and words and words. We have books filled with concepts and ideas explained and defined. We constantly try to find ways to limit our world and ourselves, in fact this is the only way we know how to live, at least “sanely”. Even the laws of nature, which we hold so dear, are limited and defined. After all we defined the laws of nature, we discovered and wrote them. We defined nature. But isn’t really nature something that is undefinable? As time moves forward so does our universe, but even this we define. The “beginning” of the universe allows us to discover how large the universe is right now. We are even trying to make the infinite universe definite. If we could travel faster than light, and reach the “edge” of the universe what would we find? I’m guessing we would find what Columbus found when he landed in America: the world/universe is infinite. It is simply a question of how is the universe round? Is it physically round, or is it round in another dimension (this eludes to the idea of parallels). All which we know was made known by our own rules, our own interpretation of experiences. And now that we might have actually had contact with others in our universe (see Jackson’s post below) perhaps we will be able to understand the universe differently.
I don’t know. I know nothing. Everything in infinite, and everything isn’t. All is possible and nothing is possible. Life is a paradox, and in the wise words of Corinthians:
And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.
So, we are here. At least it feels like I am here, and that is enough. Enough to know that I should just enjoy it, for it might not exist at all. And if it doesn’t than it doesn’t matter anyway. But as long as I have a sense of enjoyment, of some “god”, and of love I might as well indulge.
Here is to not knowing anything, and not knowing I was going to write this.
Love,
Mathew
(Via.)
(image by me)
In preparation for the Zero One Garage Sale, I discovered one of my many old journals. This one I bought in Pennsylvania while visiting my parents for Thanksgiving in 2009, right before I journeyed to Kauai. It has orange hibiscus on it and was on the clearance rack at the since closed Walden Books in the local mall I frequented as a teenager. I figured, “It’s perfect for Hawaii. I’ll write in it every day!” With a grand total of 10 entries, eight from the first time round on the island and a mere two from the second, (I am notorious for buying journals, vowing to diligently write everyday and only writing for a week) I surmised I could rip out the couple of entries and get a couple bucks for it. Then I read the last entry:
6.28.2010 10:23am
Seems like I sat at the [Hanalei] bay and never returned to myself. Sounds about right, actually. I’ve had a really interesting time back on the island. I’ve been met with constant challenges to remain open and vulnerable to Holden, and I am learning that it’s a direct parallel to my challenges to remain open to myself. I run from myself. Period. It’s what I do. I’m terrified of success and likely believe I don’t deserve it. But I DO! There’s no other way to have success unless I believe I deserve it. I have been though some incredibly challenging events and have been able to push through the fear that arrises when I jump off of a cliff, or out of a plane, or climb a mountain, but when it comes to the fear of committing, I have yet to consistently succeed. I committed to school without a clear goal, and I’ve been unable to commit to a relationship with Jeremy. So many of these things that I’ve had so much difficulty committing to are because I’ve not been absolutely sure it was what I wanted. I wanted school, but felt so swayed by Juston to go. I want to be a photographer but I feel resentful for its being conditional.
What I want is Myself. I want to know what it is that I truly want. And one clear thing is to be on this island.
I WANT TO BE IN KAUAI.
I WANT TO BE IN KAUAI.
I WANT TO DISCOVER MYSELF.
I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL.
I WANT TO BE IN LOVE.
I WANT TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER.
AND I WANT IT ALL ON KAUAI.
I WANT KAUAI FOR ME.
I WANT ME FOR KAUAI.
I WANT TO LOVE KAUAI
AND BE LOVED BY HER.It will be hard. It will require a tribe. A tribe I’ve got. All the rest will come to be if I’m finally brutally open to it.
So get ready for it. prepare, meditate, work, reach out. Decide. Commit.
I’ve decided to keep the magical Kauai journal in which I managed to manifest exactly what I wanted in ten months. I remained open. I observed. I gained clarity. I made the decision to commit to the pachamama, and I arrived at Zero One two weeks after writing this entry. Every single one of those Wants has transitioned into a Have. I am so grateful to a former Melissa for showing me the power of my manifestation abilities. My reality is mine to create. So what do I want to dream up next?
(image via flickr user ruby door)
Goood Morning SuperForest,
Yesterday a wonderful thing happened to me. It was mid-morning, and I walked out of the Airstream to find a little crowd of people gathered around the chicken-pyramid, and one of them was my friend Lenny!
Lenny is a bodyworker and healer who I’ve seen five times over the past year, and each time has been a total revelation, teaching me much about myself, my fears and my conditioning. Lenny uses massage and conversation with profound results, and his healing touch has lead to an increased happiness and flexibility in me. He also inspired this song.
And yesterday I came upon him lounging beside my chicken coop. He stood up, said “You wished me here!” and then proceeded to give me a standing shoulder and neck and back and hip rub during which time I had yet another delightfully energetic “free-ing up” of a pain and hurt I was carrying inside me, in this case localized in my right leg and hip.
Lenny worked on this painful knot in my hip and all the while said the most wonderful things to me. He told me that I was doing perfectly. He told me that what I bring to this world is beautiful, and that my happiness is all that matters. He told me that nothing was my fault. He said a bunch of things that made me feel very good about myself, and it was rad.
Now here’s the interesting thing: Lenny doesn’t have a car. Another interesting thing is that Lenny works from home. The day he appeared it was a Tuesday, meaning that he had left his house, presumably foregoing a bodywork session with a client, costing himself money, and then walked a mile to the main road where he hitch-hiked to my house, where he sat, by the chicken coop, to tell me that I was a good guy.
Thank you, Universe!
After the impromptu session I stood up and hugged him and thanked him. I said: “I love you, you crazy old man. Thank you.” And he replied: “Thank you for letting me be in your life.”
We hugged, and clear as day five words popped into my head:
Kindness Is The Anti-Virus
Much love and aloha to you, SuperForest. Thank you for your understanding and patience with me.
Yours,
Jackson
Goooooooood Morning SuperForest!
I’ve noticed an astounding increase in the number of UFO videos posted on youtube et al lately. Seems the skies above Earth are becoming a very busy place and many folks are out there with camcorders and cell phones to capture footage and share it via the net. Now, in the face of this growing mountain of evidence that SOMETHING is going on and we’re not being told the complete truth, both the FBI and the NSA have come forward and basically admitted that yes, there are indeed UFOs, and yes, we have indeed been in contact with alien species for at least 50 years.
Wha? Aliens? Contact? Secret bases on the dark side of the moon?
And the people stepping forward to disclose this information are not your garden variety crackpots, these are former military, FBI, NSA, airline pilots, researchers, scientists, White House workers. It seems that the coolest club on Capitol Hill these days is the “Admit to US/UFO Collusion” club.
Disclose.tv - CNN UFO Disclosure Revealed By CIA/FBI Government Video
So, what does all this mean?
Well, to me these disclosures mean two things immediately: What else am I not being told? And, why am I being actively kept in ignorance?
Again, it seems our two pals Fear and Control are at the helm of whoever is steering the big ship, but Fear and Control seem to be losing their grip on the wheel. Peace and Love are growing and spreading and this may indeed be the last gasp of the forces of authority and cruelty.
Because if even one of these videos is real, and there is indeed intelligent life elsewhere in the galaxy, then quite literally, all of our Earthly problems are over. We are not alone in the Universe. There is the history, language, and experience of an entirely new race to learn. There is faster-than-light travel and technology that we have only dreamt of. Medical advances, scientific advances, human rights advances on a scale that make the Renaissance look like a polite, colorful, belch of oil paints, musty pages, and strains of old music.
So, either our problems are over because we have a spiffy new enemy to band together against and fight (the Independence Day scenario) OR our problems are over because religion, politics, sports, money, and control are over. Religion, politics, sports, celebrity, money, all are forgotten in the face of the dazzling new potential offered by contact between intelligent species. This is a scenario that has yet to be written.
Hooray!
Who knows what is actually going on. We’re left to draw our own conclusions. When I see a skyrocketing in the number of videos purporting to show alien craft in the sky, AND couple that with members of the US Government freely disclosing that there has indeed been contact between humans and extra-planetary species, well, what else is there to think?
Or, it’s all fake and I live on a farm surrounded by food and people that love me. Either way, I’m having a great effing time. I hope that you’re having a great time too.
Love to all,
Jackson
Hello there, SuperForest!
I used to work in this cafe in Toronto, and one of my regulars was this totally witty, extremely down to earth guy, Jamie. We used to crack jokes to each other about his resemblance to the Chef who owned the cafe (also named Jamie), given their ”Jamie-ness” and their curly hair and stylish glasses, but mostly we just enjoyed each other’s company. Rather, I enjoyed his, and he probably just liked my lattes.
After I left that job and moved to Canada’s capital, I found out that my cafe regular was also a successful documentary filmmaker and writer! Humble people rock, by the way. I recently stumbled upon his newest documentary, Recessionize: For Fun & Profit!
And so, SuperForest, with his unique and dark sense of humour, Jamie shows us how we can all benefit from these recessionary times! Yay! Jamie provides a better description on his YouTube Channel:
A black-comic road doc about turning crisis into opportunity. A mock educational/business primer frames this series of globe-hopping parables shot in comic verité-style throughout California, Europe and Dubai. An idiosyncratic cast, by turns funny, absurd and heartrending, ranging from kids at “Camp Millionaire”, to Berlin prostitutes offering eco-discounts, to the proprietors of the French “Hamster Hotel.” The present-day journey is interspersed with ironic tales of folks adapting during the Great Depression. Ultimately “Recessionize! For Fun And Profit!” tells a unique,bittersweet tale that touches on the universal ironies of modern market-guided existence.
It just goes to show you, SuperForesters, you never know whose coffee you’re making! Smile and make an effort to connect — you’ll feel great, and you might even learn something.
Yours in appreciation of my past customers,
SuperForester Heather
Howdy SuperForest,
I hope everyone has been doing well. Today I’d like to share a short tidbit about a competition Vans is hosting. Custom Culture represents an opportunity for high schools across the country to use their creativity and design four pairs of shoes around a central theme of their choice. If their pairs of shoes get chosen, their school’s art department wins $50,000! Pretty awesome, right?
The competition’s voting stage is currently open to the public as finalists are being decided, and my school is in the running. If you could vote for us (CATHEDRAL CATHOLIC) and please pass it on to a couple friends/family members if you get a chance, it’d mean the world to me (No registration is necessary, making it a two-second process). While I’m a senior who won’t get to see any of that money, I know a lot of great underclassman that would really benefit from it. Even if you’re not interested in voting, I highly recommend checking out the designs. I was completely amazed by what some of these students churned out!
If you’ve got a tumblr and care to spread the word, click here.
Thank you so much for you help. I can assure you that every vote is appreciated! Voting ends May 2, 2011, let’s see if we can make this happen!
Best regards,
Iman.
Come one, come all! Zero One is closing its gates! This chapter is ending and everything must go! We have felt such a connection to this amazing community and would love to share our treasures with all of you!
Plants: Durian, Cacao, Papaya, Organic Starts
Goods: Lady’s & Baby’s clothes, Hand made Sunrise Shell Jewelry, Hand made Dream Catchers, Kitchenware, Household goods, MORE!
2007 Honda Fit Sport: 32,000 miles, great condition, replaced tires in August, Registered through August (photos were taken in California in August when I was going to sell before, brought car to island instead.)
Services: Body work, Raw food!
Please help us transition to our next adventure on this beautiful journey! Any donation will help!
4111B. Kahili Quarry Road Kilauea (back side to Rock Quarries)
Saturday April 30th 9am.
Also join us for our First + Last Movie Night! Sunday May 1 @ 6pm for a screening of The Green Beautiful. Will be held outside. Bring a blanket or chair.
(Link to Craigslist ad for more photos.)
image via reiki-arbresle.fr
Hello SuperForesters everywhere :)
This is a question I ask myself all the time: “What would you do if you were not afraid?”
Here on SuperForest, fear and freedom are common topics. What do those words mean to you? After a recent conversation with SuperForester Jackson and SuperForester Melissa, I started thinking more about the idea that freedom probably means something different for each person on this planet.
Letting go of things we don’t need or things in our lives that don’t serve us definitely allow us to feel a sense of freedom, so do quitting jobs we don’t like, getting out of bad relationships that are toxic, and so on (there are so many examples!). Even with all of these common threads, I think freedom looks slightly different for everyone. That’s the beauty of a community, whether it’s an online one or an “in-person” one, we are all different! I love diversity :)
So think about this, SuperForesters: if someone said to you today that you could do anything you want, live anywhere you want, live however you want, explore whatever you want….what would that be?
Now think about what’s stopping you from getting to that — obviously most of what’s stopping you boils down to fear, but sometimes there are outside factors as well. For me, answering these questions has been a journey, and I’m still learning about myself and answering these questions in my own time — part of me has no idea what my life free of fear would look like — as a human, fear is a tough one to shake. We are all fragile beings with sensitive souls (especially us SuperForesters) and sometimes it’s not easy to completely let go.
So, I trust, and I let go as much as I can at this present moment in my life. I can only trust that the universe is leading me into a direction that is best for me, but it also doesn’t hurt to open doors and nudge it along as it leads me to that fearless world.
Yours still trying to figure it all out,
SuperForester Heather
I was incredibly fortunate to share my retreat with a Slovak couple, Anetta and Michal. (Check spelling). I sat behind them in lectures and meditations, and learned so much about love by simply being in their proximity. They are mountaineers: the pair followed the path of The Snow Leopard and took an alternate, triple-pass route to Everest Base Camp. Serious hikers. My sister and I are off to hike to Annapurna Circuit soon, each of our first treks, and we had loads of questions for the veterans, one particular sun- and tea-soaked afternoon.
I asked concerning blisters, which I am sure to accumulate on the trek. Mikael said that if I end up with blisters on my feet, I should put on some sandals, so I can still sock my feet and walk on, gesturing at his own black Tevas below.
“Ah yes!” I said, “and I can just wear these,” looking down affectionately at my Extra Arch Support Leather Rainbow Sandals, which my sister brought All The Way From Hawaii. For me, those super slippers are the epitome of flip-floppery; a symbol of tropical detachment, cool in the heat, to which, obviously, I am attached.
“Oh no,” Michal said, “you can’t wear those.” Clearly, my high-performance woolen socks are not compitable with the aloha thongs. I would need a new, different, strapped cousin. And this sent a shiver down my spine.
Strap sandals! How could this be! I saw images of high school friends’ fathers, strapped in and ready to BBQ or talk WWII, my own pubescent attempts at being laid back, the unfortunate odor of summer feet against size 12 soles for way too long. But I had no choice.
A week later, Liza and I were in Thamel, Kathmandu’s frantic tourist ghetto, full of hawkers and knockoffs. We were scurrying from shop to shop attempting to assemble a trek-worthy inventory, and one of the items in my tastefully, not overly feminine (more-so Japanese) floral notebook was looming like a late 90s Midwestern stormcloud, the twin scribbles of strap sandals. The white whale was in sight.
And so, sitting on a woven stool, I sat for 30 minutes trying on seemingly every pair ever manufactured, black, blue, green, gray, until finally one fit, an underwhelming Cinderella situation: they had an alternating diagonal dark-and-light blue pattern to the center of the strap, with a black and white trim, suggesting of Phoenician sketches or some sort of failed shark superheroes. Liza, of course, found an onyx pair, the same model as the heroic Central European couple! A total shoe-in. Ah, but I, rather, had to face the melancholic facts, after leaving the shop and coming back a day later, I bought the menacing pair.
Another week of Buddhist teachings later, it was time to say goodbye to all that was not Coming on the Trek, as we would leave it with a friend in Kathmandu. And so, reluctantly, I strapped them in, heel, ankle, toe.
“I look like I’m eleven years old,” I said, gaping at my unfashionable feet. My sister, of course, could only laugh. And so I trudged out of the hotel room, and into the day.
***
That night, after walking around the Stupa and spinning many prayer-wheels, we ran into a friend from the Dharma teachings, Justin, a gentle mountain of a man, once a college football player, and now four months in the red robes of the Tibetan traditions, with whom I shared avocado pizza fantasies and sweet memories of bibampap. We joined him for dinner with another friends, Holger, a joyfully nihilistic German young man, with a smile that lights up the room.
The conversation exploded immediately, into talks of faith and uncertainty, the need to leave home and the pull to return, the nature of selflessness and of the self, and of trauma. Justin described that often what leads people to Buddhism is an initial trauma (such was the case with myself, meditation as a way of calming post-breakup thoughtstorms).
We talked of the some people’s fear of there not being a god, and Buddhism’s disinterest in supplying one; an example was supplied of an acquaintance who practiced for forty-years, but then came back to Catholicism at the end of his life, for the lack of a higher power did not meet his spiritual needs.
The conversation (unterhaltung, or holding-under, in German, how fascinating!) circulated around this point for some turns of the wheel, and the participants agreed that these issues need to be examined in order to be processed, in order to be healed. Like a cardiac bypass, simply rerouting one’s beliefs or practices does not remove the life-choking plaque present; it expertly avoids it. In the serious matter of knowing ourselves, we cannot overlook these issues.
Thich Nhat Hanh urges us to examine the seeds of our suffering in The Miracle of Mindfulness, a book that has been the Tiger Palm to the aches and pains of my spiritual muscles. The phrase sounds existential, brutal, Continental, but the way Hanh describes it, the process is gentle, caring. We must appreciate the causes of our pain, investigate why we flinch at certain stimuli, be it the possible Void of a Spirit Above or the cry of Velcro Below.
So, why did I resist the purchase? My childhood had many components, two of which were divorce and imagination. With those two conditions, it is plain to see that much of my chubby years were spent insecure, in fear of phantoms familial or imaginary, or, perhaps, both. The Buddhist tradition teaches that all phenomena are essentially empty, shifting, fluid: the arise with a selection of causes and fade when those causes are exhausted. Being that I was a child, I did not have the emotional equipment to transfer the energy of my pain and confusion into another form; rather, it sat (and often ran, often commanded) in me, and I would inexpertly sneak from bedroom to kitchen, science to gym, hunching my shoulders, trying to hide my over-sized frame.
These innocent Tevas have forced my to reconsider that bypass, to go back and untie the knot in my childhood heart. I see that the people that hurt me were suffering too, and just doing their best with the situation given, and harbored no malice toward me; I see that I was simply a needy child, so much like the brainy young students eager for my love and affection in Korea who perhaps did receive enough at home, and that this is all OK: with the clarity given by understanding, I can now better love my younger self, my family, my students, and my shoes.
Miss you all,
Drake
From April 3, 2011.
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